Skin in the Sixties
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   165 of 314 readers found this review helpful.

Film: Skin in the Sixties
Released by: Secret Key Motion Pictures
Reviewed by: Dixon Bawls A.K.A. Shoeless Joe

We here at Bumscorner thought we saw the end of soft core porn movies and Shoeless Joe, but I had to channel the perverted mind of the filth writer Joe for one more review. Skin in the Sixties is a Hidden Vault re-issue from the good old days of the New York grind houses. From the three movies appearing on this DVD, there are some great moments, gross boobs, non-penetration grinding, and serious social issues. For all of you who enjoy the classics, this collection might be a pleasant addition to your library. For all of you who enjoy up-to-date porn, you will only find pleasure in the ample, ginormous sweater puppies of Uschi Digard.

To start off, I recommend watching the intro from Grind House Pete who spins the tales of the sticky floored original grind houses. After your initiation into the beginning of a world wide obsession of spanking it to girls on film, The Madam (1969) was a fun and funny glimpse into the old days of unashamed chicks with funny looking jugs. The movie has a simple plot of a drifter who picks up a girl with fabulous hood ornaments and gives her a ride on his motorcycle. The girl in return gives him a job and a place to stay at her mother’s brothel. The oh-so “wink-wink” guy's name is John and he has just become the luckiest dude in town. His new job is to bang every girl in the house. This is pretty much all that goes on except a really disturbing scene with a very obese man watching two girls who obviously have no idea what to do with one another, but scissor each other. Uschi Digard is a natural wonder of the world and would be a diamond in the rough if she could have been a Vivid or Wicked girl, she also would have made millions on the stripper circuit.

The next film is a must watch for anyone with a serious sick sense of humor, L’Amour De Femme (1969) is a silent film, with the best unintended lines ever coming from the narrator. Two girls in love live together and journey off to visit another lesbian to help one of them become a model. The social issues covered in this movie are funny as hell for the times and still funny today. The girl they go to visit is a lesbian married to a gay man and that is just the tip of the fun. They also cover domestic violence, wife swapping, being in the closet, prostitution, drug abuse, and depression, all in a sixties porn movie. Bravo. Like I said before, the narrator’s dumb-ass commentary is the glue that keeps this boring movie going but it’s enough to get through the muff-rubbing marathon.

The last film is the worst but the shortest. Take Them as They Are (1969) is a sad look into the world of a snow-white-assed urban couple’s drug abuse. This is a cringing, wringing of the hands watch for anyone, but it has the best body on a girl in all three movies. One couple lets their friends stay with them, while the cops go after them for trafficking a pound of coke. Another couple comes over and they all get f-ed up, naked, and have a nasty orgy. The police show up and end the film, which made me happy like a good episode of “Cops.”

Another problem with this DVD is something I have been railing against for a long time, and that is false advertising with a DVD cover. The cover has a really hot girl taking off her shirt. Wouldn’t you know that the girl does not appear in any of the films? Go figure. Stop the madness, you assholes! There are plenty of chicks you could have put on the cover. You picked something some poor smuck would see and buy your DVD, shame on you. I hope you become limp for life for your crimes against the lonely sword shiner. I give this collection 2 out of 5 stars and would recommend it for any collector but not for a curious yank.

Added:  Tuesday, June 12, 2007

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