Masters of Horror: Pro-Life
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It's great to have Carpenter come back for Season 2 of Masters Of Horror. Last years entry Cigarette Burns was one hell of a ride. What's this? Ron Perlman is in this also? This thing just can't miss. Demonic babies? Brilliant!! After tossing it into the player I quickly found that I stumbled onto a disappointment.

While cruising down the road a couple of doctors from an abortion clinic almost hit a young woman running out of the woods. They take her to the clinic to get checked out only to find that she is pregnant. Behind her waiting outside the gates is her father (Ron Perlman) who is the local anti-abortion religious nut that has a restraining order from the clinic already. Turns out that she was running from him, so this of course could be trouble. Seeing who the girls father is, and that she is pregnant, the doctors come to the conclusion that she must have been molested by her father. The daughter try to tell them that she got pregnant last week and it was from a demon, but who is going to believe that? They decide to keep her within the facility instead of sending her out to her dad.

Well, ole dad is getting the word from God to protect the baby no matter what, so things take a bloody turn when he and his sons arm themselves and break into the clinic taking down anyone in their way. Now, the pregnant girl's story was true, the doctors realize, when the belly destroys some of the ultra sound equipment and spits out some toxic cream from the young girl's hot spot. This leads up to an uninteresting no-twist ending that felt like it was only going through the motions.

Like I said, I was disappointed. Everything in the story seemed too confined and nothing paid off. Let me break down the whole story.

- Woman is running from her father
- Turns out the father is the potentially dangerous religious zealot
- Daughter says that a demon from hell raped her, and with the crazy ass things that her belly does I would have to believe her
- Dad gets word from "God" to protect the baby so he and his sons go in armed and firing
- Baby is born
- Yep, demon baby
- The end

That's really about it. The fact that all of this took place in an hour seemed like way too much time to get to something that we already knew. That was issue one. And that is a big issue. The story was just lacking. Another problem that I had was that the characters were all dumb. The doctors in no way seemed to have the knowledge that a doctor should have. Let me explain; Crazy vagina goo squirts into the eye of one doctor who proceeds to scream that it burns. Instead of...I don't know...washing it out, the other doctor just proceeds to hold her. Remind me never to go to this place for any type of surgery.
Another issue was with the pregnant girl's father. After breaking into the palce on a mission to find his daughter and stop the abortion, he takes a detour to torture one of the abortion doctors. I sure am glad that he has his priorities straight. When the credits ending up rolling, all I could think about was "That's it?". Oh, we can't forget the horrible CGI fatality shots and that was Pro-Life.

Now let's talk about the good. There was good here in this mix. Perlman played what was given to him well as the religious protective father that was slightly unhinged. Also, I love a good Man-In-Rubber Suit monster, and this had a good one. Add in the demon baby and we have moments of good cheesy fun. I shouldn't need to talk about the extras, because like all the Masters of Horror disks, they're here too.

Overall this wasn't a horrible episode or even necessarily bad. It just had such a lacking story that the overall finished product seemed pointless. It didn't have that theatrical feel that some of the other episodes have (Cigarette Burns included), but felt more like walking into the last few minutes of a movie. A few good moments and an unimagined story gets this entry a slightly middle score of a 2 1/2 cans. While it had a few moments and I didn't hate Pro-life, I also didn't really care for it.

Added:  Tuesday, March 20, 2007

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