Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven
 DJ Hufford  rates it:    Community rates it:
   206 of 426 readers found this review helpful.

Who would have ever thunk that Edgar Allen Poe’s little short dark poem about a Raven would still be circulating in pop culture 150 years later? This has got to be like the bazillionth movie trying to tie itself to Edgar’s masterpiece. Nevertheless, I dig dark themes. I’ll give it a go.

The first thing you see in this film is Edgar reading his poem. Then the scene completely flips and shows some girl murder an old man by throwing a hair dryer in the bathtub. Then they show random shots of electrical poles. Then the opening credits roll. It’s at this point, I realize I have no idea whats going on.

Then we meet Lenore. She is a young girl who is obsessed with Poe and thinks the Raven is stalking her and protecting her. Then we see choppy flashes of her sleeping on black roses, with the Raven purchased on her. Then more random shots of electrical poles.

Fast forward 15 years and Lenore is now a goth chick in a goth band. She’s still obsessed with Poe. They show her recording some horrible awful song with twenty of her goth friends watching. Then they insert more random shots of electrical poles, and random shots of Lenore as a little girl sleeping. Were twenty minutes in here, and I still have no idea what’s going on.

Next we watch as Lenore visits a nun and prays. Then we see the raven. The raven now somehow morphs into a human and starts randomly killing people. Evertime he kills, the screen flashes to shots of more electrical poles, and words like “Die” flash on the screen. The raven/killer never makes a move on Lenore though. Throughout the killing spree they throw in more clips of Lenore sleeping and we hear Edgar doing voiceovers of his poem, apparently from the grave. We see more nun’s, more poles, more words, for apparently no reason. Now I’ve been sitting here for 45 minutes, and I still have no idea whats going on.

Luckily, this is a very very short film. It just barely surpasses one hour. The disk says it has a run time of 81 minutes. It ended at the 65 minute mark. Those must have been some long credits…I took you thru the first 45 minutes but I will not spoil the last 20 for you. Somehow, Ulli Lommel the director does a very feeble attempt at tying together Lenore, the serial killer, the raven, Edgar, and electrical poles. It doesn’t work at all. I finished this movie with a level of confusion that would make King Solomon himself scratch his head. I just do not understand why this movie was made.

Having bashed the flick now, I think it would only be fair to mention the very few redeeming qualities this movie had. The goth chick I spoke of earlier, Lenore, yeah she’s hot. She’s very hot. And luckily we do get to see her boobies briefly in this film. She has nipples that make a grown man cry. Now the other very flimsy reason to watch the film is the laughter. The murder scenes were just stupid and unnecessary, yet as each death occurred I found myself laughing at the absurdity of it all.

Now I do think there is a contingent of viewers out there that might like this. If you are into Goth, and you don’t require any intellectual stimulation, then this movie is for you! I just didn’t personally care for it. I can see how some people might consider Lommel’s directing style as artsy, and very modern. But as you know art is in the eye of beholder, and I just didn’t see much beauty in this flop. Strangely enough, I don’t hate myself for having watched this. It didn’t seem like a complete waste of time. It was like watching the tone deaf singers on American Idol. You can’t really pinpoint why your watching, yet you still do…..

Added:  Monday, January 29, 2007
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