Game - RetroReview: Bill & Ted's Excellent Videogame Adventure (NES)
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187 of 389 readers found this review helpful.
If one would look through the annals of video game history, one gem would certainly shine more brightly than all others. That's right, I'm referring to the masterpiece that is Bill & Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure.
Upon loading this fantastic piece of junk, you're greeted to lengthy intro texts far beyond what any Harvard professor could sit through and comprehend. After about 5 minutes of nothingness from Rufus, my mentor through the game I decided to skip the rest and go right to the game. Suddenly I was presented with a phone book and any number of people to call. I decided to give my old buddy King Arthur a call at 555-1377. Suddenly, in my mystical chariot of time travel that is a phone booth, I was sent back to none other than the middle ages.
Here's where things go bad because I actually have to control my witless character. The game is set up in ¾ view perspective, but the controls operate as if the camera is right behind the character at the start. Evidently there is no way other than doing a long jump to get from the grass onto the path, and vice-versa. Lucky for me, Ted can jump about 60 feet in the air. Now Rufus had given me 15 coins to start the game with. In the time travel scene I guess I lost some (I don't know, that mess of tubes and crap was more confusing than a calculus equation), but now I can chuck these suckers all the way across the screen. It doesn't seem like a wise use of my money--the thing I'm depending on to go home--but, what can you do?
Now I had been told to talk to people to help me out in my quest to set the time continuum back to normal (or something), so I walked up to the first person I saw, who promptly knocked me to the ground and stole a coin (evidently late 20th century American currency is good in medieval England too). It wasn't long before my person knocking-into and coin throwing resulted in my being broke, and sent to debtors' prison. Luckily for me, they don't post any guard in the prison and I could just walk off free as a bird. Then I wandered around the country side, getting thrown into jail and walking out easily enough. About 15 or 20 minutes in I discovered that I had a menu which I could select OTHER items to hurl across the screen. So I started chucking music notes and making all the mean people dance (they didn't like that I guess, as they started to chase me after the music stopped. Bunch of sore Musical Chair losers if you ask me).
About now I decided to see if I could get out of this godforsaken world and move on to some other place where I would be more accepted (I was getting a bad rap around here for running into people and not paying). Well, being that I had no money, I was stuck here to spend the rest of my pitiful life in an endless cycle of trying to get somewhere to do something, and being thrown in jail six seconds after I start. Just as my 30 minutes was running out, the angel of mercy appeared in my jail cell telling me I had run out of keys (I had keys?) and thus, the game was over.
In the end, I'm just confused by this game. What was wrong in the first place? Was my mission to go broke by running into people? If so, I should've won. Avoid this one, please.
Added: Monday, August 08, 2005
Related Link: A box scan, just for fun
Language: eng[ Did you find this review helpful? Yes No ]
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