Brutal Massacre
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A movie about a horror movie being made and it is a mockumentary?!? Sign me up.

What?!? This has HOW many familiar faces in it? David Naughton (American Werewolf in London), Brian O’ Halloran (Clerks), Gerry Bednob (40 Year Old Virgin), Ellen Sandweiss (Evil Dead) and more?!?

This is just too good to be true.

What?!? Oh….it’s not funny? Damn. Got all excited there.

Sadly Bums, while this should be a great addition to a horror fan’s library on the cover, it just wasn’t funny. The acting was bad, the movie’s pace was uneven and the overall result was a movie about characters that did nothing particularly funny or interesting. It wasn’t a horrible movie by any means, but it just never meshed.

The movie follows B-Horror movie director Harry Penderecki’s new film. After being out of the limelight for so long, he has realized that he needs something to bring him back. Enter a movie created on the fly called Brutal Massacre. This should be his next big hit and get him back into the fan’s and Hollywood’s good graces. After getting the financial backing from a rich Texan mobster, the film is ready to go. Unfortunately, mishaps keep happening to them. Funny moments, like being too close to the hunting fields during deer season, a blurring issue during a nude scene, tripping over a cord causing a knife accident and more golden gems.

- Note to readers: Golden Gems was used in a sarcastic tone. Sadly, this does not resonate through text.

Now, again the idea is there. This could have been damn funny. How it panned out though was just…..boring. The dialogue wasn’t witty, the acting was all over the place and the end result was a movie that had me just sitting there. What was the cause of the failure? Well, I think director/writer Steven Mena knows a thing or two about directing movies. I think that this was the movies failure. Why? What is funny to him from making his home movies and Malevolence does not transfer well to Bum-viewer. Sure, the blurring of the nude scene (where you only get one take) could have been funny to me if only it happened to me while I was directing a flick. I couldn’t relate though because the breasts in my home porno movies come out crystal clear.

Inside jokes are only funny to people on the inside, and this felt like friends getting together and laughing over things that happened to them on set. I wasn’t there that day, so I wasn’t in on the laughter.

Like sitting in a room when two friends are talking about the funny things that happened in high school, (“Remember that time when…..”) the movie was a bust. The only redeeming value was the exact one I mentioned at the start of the review; all the damn cameos and familiar faces. Hell, Gunnar Hansen had a major role! Sadly, he was annoying.

If you make movies, then check this one out. If you watch movies, then skip this one.

Added:  Friday, August 22, 2008

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