Bums Corner Coast to Coast
By Tom Arnholt and Mike Eshelman
Bums Corner Coast to CoastApr 03, 2024
Episode 51 - Testicular Based Super Powers
See that guy? That's Jonathon Perry. In this month's episode, Mike and Tom discuss his recent arrest and why it's never a good idea to wear clothes with your name on it when attempting a kidnapping. Oh, and a guy got stung in a really bad place by a scorpion. And no, I don't mean Vegas, I mean his testicle.
Episode 50 - It's Coming Right For Us!
In this episode, Mike and Tom celebrate the 50th episode of their podcast. They discuss their beer preferences and reminisce about their past drinking experiences. They reflect on the longevity of their podcast and tease some future news. They also share their thoughts on attending a funeral and reflect on life. The conversation then shifts to a discussion about a Florida man who drove his truck into the ocean and blamed the truck for not being able to surf. Finally, they remember the CD 101 radio station and its impact on the industry. In this conversation, Mike and Tom discuss their memories of terrestrial radio and the importance of local radio stations. They also delve into a news article about a Florida lawmaker seeking looser regulations on killing bears, claiming that black bears on crack are ravaging people's homes. The conversation highlights the consequences of hunting bears and the latent racism in wildlife policies. Finally, they reflect on their podcast journey and encounter technical difficulties with the outro music.
Episode 49 - Pooping in Hotel Bathtubs and Other Fun Things To Do on Vacation
We are at episode 49! Can you believe it?
This month, Tom and Mike discuss a Chinese Chess champion who excels at alliteration, but I can guarantee did NOT leave a big enough tip for housekeeping to cover the damage he did during his stay.
Also, the guys discuss one man's naked excursion into an aquarium at a Bass Pro Shop. You know, the important topics of the day.
Episode 48 - Christmas Crossover'll Make You Jump Jump
Since the CW as we know it is gone, we made our own crossover event!
Tom and Mike packed up the Bums Corner studio and hung out with Jenny and Jean-Paul from WTF Did I Just Watch to discuss a couple Christmas horror movies - "Werewolf Santa" and "It's a Wonderful Knife".
PROTIP: If you do a shot every time someone says "orgy massacre" at the beginning of the show, you'll be hammered for the whole episode.
Episode 47 - Fran Bownas-Rayburn Stops By!
Fran stopped by the studio, and not only did we have lots of fun, but we learned too!
We caught up with our wonderful friend, then talked about lizards in Cinci, stupid kids, and what life would be like if you were stupid(er).
Also, we started on a new platform this episode, and Mike apparently forgot how mute buttons work. What a jackass.
Episode 46 - Rampage at Wendy's Over Missing Cheese
Stay classy Ohio! Mike and Tom go back to basics this episode, covering a brawl at a Toledo's Wendy's because of missing cheese, and...get this...a story about a stolen bus, a dead deer, and a naked police chase.
Episode 36 – What’s This Show About Again?
(Originally recorded as Imperfect Recall episode 1) Let’s face it, we all wore masks in high school. Did any of us really get to know the real people behind them, or were we content just knowing the public persona? Cohosts Tom Arnholt and Mike Eshelman discuss the concept of the show and what to expect in future episodes.
Episode 45 – NERDS!!!
Tom found another great survey for the guys to dissect, this time about people who self-identify as nerds or geeks. So what kind of people think of themselves as circus freaks that bite the heads off of live chickens, you may ask? The answer may shock you!
Episode 44 – Reunited, But Did It Feel So Good?
So Tom and Mike recorded in the same room for the first time! How neat! They were also joined by their dear friend Rick Tanski. What’s the special occasion you ask? Why, it’s the boys’ 35th reunion! Part one of the episode takes place the day before the big event, and part two is a couple weeks after. Did they make new friends? Did they face their bullies? All these questions and more are answered inside.
Episode 43 – How We Sleep
Sometimes we can be pretty judgemental on this show. This month’s episode is no exception. Tom and Mike dig deep into what keeps couples up at night (cover hogs and non-night showerers based on the stats) and discuss a guy in Japan that married a digital teenager and had a life-size doll made of her. You can pretty much sum up their relationship by the looks in their eyes in that picture, right?
Episode 42 – We Ran Long (…and deep…and hard)
So Tom and Mike set aside an entire episode to talk about Pornhub analytics. They comment on all 50 states’ most often search term when compared to all other states. We can’t kink shame, but dammit, we can make fun of some (most) of the selections.
Episode 41 – Good Luck!
Get a load of these clowns! Holy crap! What kind of terrible garbage did these doofuses get into? Tune in and find out! At some point the audio went out in this episode, but that’s okay, nobody listens that far in.
Episode 40 – So Much Dumb in Such a Small Episode
Check out those mugshots. Ouch! Not a great look guys, not at all. But we’re not here to bash someone on their looks. No, we’re here to bash terrible decisions, and man, these cats have some doozies. From lighting a car on fire to keep it from getting stolen, to hanging out at a bank robbery to see what the silent alarm does, these guys make us feel slightly better about our lives.
Episode 39 – Ann Maglicic
Sure, we ran long. And yeah, we got derailed a few times. Okay, fine, we had more questions than answers by the end. Yes, there are barking dogs at one point.
Episode 38 – Dan Rockwell
As a last minute replacement for a sick guest (hope you feel better, Tort) Dan Rockwell swooped in and saved the day, offering some very interesting and intuitive perspectives on his youth. When you were younger if you felt awkward and had no idea what you were doing, the important takeaway is…you weren’t alone. We all felt that way.
Episode 37 – Tim Tortorello
Tim Tortorello joined us for a very interesting episode. We ran long, and Tom’s neighbor decided to hold a concert in his back yard that couldn’t be 100% edited out, but there’s so much insightful stuff in here that it’s worth the extra time. Tort takes us back to his formative years and really opens up about what life was like for him as a teen. The lesson we continue to learn through these voyages to the past…you’re not alone, and it gets better.
Episode 35 – Taxi
(Originally Recorded as Episode 1 of Nostalgia Sux/Rox) Tom and Mike set sail on their voyage into their youth with a look back at the TV sitcom Taxi. Does it still hold up? Join the guys as they rewatch the show to see if Nostalgia sucks, or rocks.
Episode 34 – Gremlins
(Originally Recorded as Nostalgia Sux/Rox Episode 2) The guys take a look at the beloved movie “Gremlins” for their second episode. Taking off the rose tinted glasses of nostalgia, do they think it sucks, or do they think it rocks? Tune in to find out!
Episode 33 – the Real Bums Corner Was the Friends We Made Along the Way
Our dear friend Peggy couldn’t join us this month, so Tom and Mike got all mushy, talking about feelings and friendship and stuff. But to get there, we first discussed a breakup caused by the Tubi Superbowl commercial, and some young man running through a hotel naked with a toilet plunger while harassing guests and pulling fire alarms.
And if you’re wondering how the header image ties into all that, this is our show’s 3rd anniversary. We’re heading into our 4th year making the world a better place!
Episode 32 – Gin and Jews
Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to use that title? Anyways, Tom sips some gin, Peggy and Tom talk about Fiddler on the Roof, Mike interjects to discuss the intended topics, and we run way long. Also, Emily, we said goodnight a couple times, hope this helps.
Episode 31 – We Are So Scrooged
It’s our Christmas Special!!! Tom and Mike (and our very special holiday guest Peg McCort) talk about the Bill Murray movie Scrooged, go off topic for a bit, come back on topic, drift again, then wrap it all up in a neat little bow.
Episode 30 – The Rolling Stone Top 50 TV Shows (part 2)
Okay, so here’s where we wrap up the list and cover numbers 25 through number 1. Yes, we ran long, and maybe rambled a little bit. It happens. Our hearts are in the right places. Oh, and we don’t agree with Rolling Stone’s list for the most part. But hey, Atlanta!
Episode 29 – The Rolling Stone Top 50 TV Shows (part 1)
Oh man, a two-parter! SWEET! The boys start dissecting the Rolling Stone list of Top TV Shows of All Time! 50 GOATS! In this episode Tom and Mike get through numbers 50 through 26. The big takeaway, we haven’t watched as many GOATS as we thought.
Episode 28 – Poltergeist
See that look that Carol Anne is giving? That contempt, that rage, that feeling that whoever is talking should just shut the hell up? That’s totally going to be you in about 10 minutes if you hit PLAY. Tom and Mike planned on discussing if the 1982 hit Poltergeist sucks or rocks, but they drank too much, then talk too much. Enjoy our Halloween special. The suffering you’ll endure will be legendary, even in hell.
Episode 27 – the Filler Episode
The notes for this show just said “wing it”. So here we are. Just a couple guys having a few drinks and catching up on the past month or so.
Episode 26 – Cheers
Arnholt and Mike dig back into the past to see if Cheers has held up, or if the rose tinted glasses of nostalgia are the only things keeping it funny.
Episode 25 – The Breastfeed Club
Tom and Mike are back to bringing the weird! The guys hang out for a bit and catch up, then deep dive into a couple in an Adult Breastfeeding Relationship and discuss a felony trifecta all in one day (carjack, hit & run, robbery). Side note, would you shop at a store called Pubix? Just curious.
Episode 24 – Some Crimes and The Best Job EVER
Tom and Mike are back at it, covering a stolen prosthetic limb, a Japanese man with the most incredible gig ever, a neckbeard (assumed) sues his parents for destroying his porn collection, and a low speed chase starring the world’s most patient cop.
Episode 23 – Love Is In The Air!
It’s Valentine’s Day! And what better way to celebrate than to join Tom and Mike as they talk about such romantic themes as narcing on your ex who has outstanding warrants, most popular rom-com by state, a woman that poisoned her boyfriend because he wouldn’t shut up, naming a cockroach after your ex, french fry perfume, and getting married at Denny’s wedding chapel in Las Vegas for free, which apparently exists.
Episode 22 – MURDERSQUIRREL and Tales of Felonies Gone Awry
Hey Bums! We’re back! A cute little squirrel goes on a rampage (#AWW), a naked dude steals a cop car (#EWW), a couple makes tons of poor decisions after beating their stance on indoor smoking into the side of a security guard’s head (#Wiiings), and some guy makes it a whole 20 minutes after being released from prison before committing another felony (#3Strikes).
Episode 21 – The 456 Chinese Restaurant Episode
Special guest Andy Eshelman sits in with the boys to talk about the greatest restaurant of all time.
Episode 20 – The Naked Summer: Vol 2 – Electric Boogaloo
Hooooooweeeeee it’s hot out! There’s only one way to face this record breaking heat…naked! There are lots of fun things to do naked. This list does not include getting tazed or having a footrace with a police dog.
Episode 19 – The Naked Summer: Vol 1
It’s hot out. People are coming out of their homes for the first time in over a year. What better time to strip down and break some laws? In the first of several episodes, Tom and Mike accidentally focus on Florida to kick off The Naked Summer.
Episode 18 – The Masturbation Episode!
With a title that good, why bother with a witty description.
Episode 17 – Why Did We Think We Could Make Child Abuse Funny?
The plan was innocent enough, how about a month where all the articles are about terrible parents? It didn’t go well. At all.
Episode 16 – Peter Piper? Nah, Just Another Florida Man with a Pickle in His Ass
We unpack a lot this month: discuss comic book TV/movies, confirm Gen X is just can be just as terrible as everyone else, extol the virtues of cheap beer, and reminisce about our younger days. Oh, and a guy got arrested for indecent exposure while trying to play the solo version of hide the pickle.
Episode 15 – America Is Back…To Being Stupid!
As the pandemic restrictions ease, Americans are coming out of hibernation to do what they do best..act like complete assholes! Featuring: bringing a gun to a mask fight at Roscoe’s, getting shot while trying to be YouTube famous, living your best life…twice…with two different women, and creative eviction styles involving zip ties and a (presumably scary) cemetery. Mike and Tom also somehow find time to mansplain online dating for women (in hindsight they’re all terrible ideas, but we’re trying) and extol the virtues of cheap beer. We missed you America, you dumb lumbering beast.
Episode 14 – DOGNAPPED! Minor Deity Steals Police K9, and Other Hilarity
We’re back, Bums! Welcome to season 2! Our 14th episode features poor responses to being denied sex, stupid people arrested on drug charges, an arranged marriage gone awry with a happy ending (not that kind), and yes, the love child of the sun and moon steals a police car with a police dog in it.
Episode 13 – The Season Finale Hootenanny!
It’s the end of season 1! Tom and Mike invite their dear friends Rick, Dan, and Fran in for jocularity, mayhem, and an honest and frank discussion about the state of education in America today. Yeah, we didn’t see that coming either. But hey, there’s still drinking and swearing, and Tom even invented a new word: turduckenesque.
Episode 12 – La Cage Aux Manchot
Recorded on Buyer’s Remorse Saturday, Tom and Mike drink while capturing the true spirit of Thanksgiving by discussing mongoose poop coffee, violent Boston turkey attacks, adorable gay Dutch penguin crimes, and some drunk dude throwing mailboxes and claiming to be the Son of God.
Episode 11 – Politics and Beer? Of Course They Go Together!
It had to happen eventually, but as season one winds down, Tom and Mike get in a discussion about the US response to COVID. Leading up to a rare serious moment are exploding port-a-potties, a quadriplegic DUI, stealing a car from front line workers, and lunchbox shaming. You know, important topics.
Episode 10 – It’s the Great Bumpkin, Charlie Brown
It’s Tom and Mike’s first Halloween Special! Enjoy a discussion about this year’s “sexy” costume assortment is a terrible display of how far we’ve declined as a society, and then listen to some heartfelt stories of how adults are just the absolute worst, but also in costumes, because of Halloween. At least one story will ruin your childhood.
Episode 9 – Rachel Cronin Stays Up Late and Tells It Like It Is
Tom and Mike welcome Rachel Cronin into the studio and we catch up with what she’s been up to, chat about the teacher life in the New Normal, and then mock some drug addled felons. Oh, there may be talk of brewing beer with animal and human feces, but hey, we’re not here to judge.
Episode 8 – The One With The TV Shows
Tom and Mike examine a survey determining the most overrated TV show by state. “Examine” isn’t quite right…they talk about how stupid some of the choices are. So come on in and enjoy listening to them insult other people’s opinions (and yours as well, probably) and learn what they think are the most over and underrated shows.
Episode 7 – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Dan Rockwell
Put your feet up, grab your favorite cocktail (or a few…this is Episodus Maxiumus) and enjoy stories from Dan Rockwell as we divulge into various and sundry topics. Oh, and there’s drunken pandemic parties that lead to house fires, influencer vs. bear, calling 911 for a flaming vagina, and Tom berating millennials. This episode gets derailed so many times it might as well be a boat.
Episode 6 – #PositivePeg and the Power of Properly Performed Marketing
Peggy McCort is here this episode! Woo! Adding a splash of #PositivePeg to the #NegativeNancys that reside here. Then there’s a commercial (#boooring) then we talk about multiple #naked men doing weird things, a drunk monkey on a #rampage, and using #cheese as an alternative cleaning product in these strange #COVID days.
Episode 5 – Oh hey, it’s Rick Tanski! Hi Rick!
Tom and Mike invite Rick to hang out, talk about 3 decades in the education system, and discuss relaxed vaccination schedules, licking toilet seats, leaving your loaded gun in a middle school bathroom, and topless rampages in Denny’s. You know, important stuff.
Episode 4 – The Provocative Candelabra and Other Tales of Woe
In this episode, Tom and Mike discuss calling 911 to help find your hoodie…a lot, doing Tik Tok challenges for fun and profit, having relationships with inanimate objects, and a naked dude breaking into a funeral home.
Episode 3 – Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes
Un-denuding corn cobs for fun and profit, Canada’s stupidest teen, do possum go to heaven, toking at grandma’s, bobblehead handies, and THEN the alcohol kicks in.
Episode 2 – Ohio=North Florida
Tom and Mike discuss face tats, self-pleasure in the library, gravity vs. inmate, and uncomfortable living arrangements.